Thursday, October 30, 2008


well I realized that I have failed at updating this, so I decided that before October was officially over, I should write something else. I am really getting sick of eye appointments rushing my fridays. I mean I come home anyways, but I don't like having to make sure I am at the eye doctor at a specific time. college proves to be growing rapidly in both the fun and stress categories. Honestly, I'm just tired. So incredibly tired. I have had so much to do this week, and next week will prove to be just as insane. Something to look forward to. Right now I'm just sitting at Chi waiting for free form worship to start. I'm talking to an AMAZING girl...her name is kristen. She's a warfie too and she's also in my small group...this is her saying hey...hi. That's right, from the hands of Kristen Surles herself, ladies and gentlemen. She actually followed that charming "h-i" with "what do you want me to say??? I don't do this stuff." she's awesome. Maddy just banged on the window...she tried to scare me but it didn't work. I'm fearless haha. not. so anyway, not much is going on til patty gets here. then it's time to paint!!! yaaay! God has still made himself everpresent this week which i am extremely appreciative of ...well anyway Patty just got here so i'm gonna get off of here! i hope everyone has a blessed week!

Monday, October 20, 2008


i feel so swamped lately. it's like in my mind i don't really have anything going on, then come to find out i have a million things to do everyday. i really don't know how that happens, or i think i have a clear schedule...i never do. i really like being busy though. i mean don't get me wrong, i love my down time, but too much down time makes me feel lazy. maybe that's why i do so much. but i love everything that i do. i think that's important. if you are going to do something, make sure that you are passionate about it. pour your heart and soul into the things you do and if you aren't passionate about it then leave it behind unless it is something that God commands you to do. this post really is rambling. i find i do that a lot, hence the name of the blog. my phone is almost as spastic as i am. one minute it has 2 bars of battery, then it's blinking at me saying "low battery" "low battery" every 3 seconds. i don't get it; it's aggravating. but anyway, i really don't have a whole lot to say. i'm just sitting at XA before drama practice starts. super fun! but that's pretty much it, i just figured i would update. there really isn't any substance to this at all, but that's ok...sometimes it's good to not be super philosophical. anyway thats it for now! hope everybody is having a super blessed day!!!

romans 12.2

Saturday, October 18, 2008


i have a book i write in a lot...kind of like a journal but to me its more than that. i doodle, sketch, freewrite, take notes, jot down reminders-everything- in this little book. anyway this is what i wrote today...just a thought. i read it to dad and he said i should post it on my blog. so this is just one of the many thoughts from my notebook entitled "the ramblings of a college student: the thoughts, doodles, tangents, excitement and fear of an eighteen year old freshman." (hence the name of the blog)


why is it that we forget the pencil as we get older? it's such a great little invention, but somehow we get swept up in the world of pens. we have this stigma about pencils because they can be eliminated. erased. for some reason, we feel the need for everything to be permanent and so we turn to ink. we feel like ink is final. even if you mark through it, it is still there and it's obvious that a mistake is being hidden. in my eyes, the world is a realm of ink.  we feel like everything we do, every choice we make is permanent. and to an extent, it is. we can't go back in time or click on edit and scroll down to "undo" but fortunately, it's because none of that is necessary. my God is not a God of ink. He is a pencil user. that's right...God uses pencils. at least i think so. He uses pencil when it comes to us. of course some things are in ink- His word, His plans and His purpose for us- but He hands us a pencil to use in our life journey.  we can scribble all over His plans and doodle on His purpose.  we sketch out our own blueprints and shade our lives with sin and for some reason, we think we're using pen. in our minds, everything that we have sketched or doodled or scribbled or shaded is permanent. and when we finally realize that we have made a mistake, we try to cover it up and hide it by making heavier marks on top of it. but all that does is make the mistake darker both literally and metaphorically. that mark is now more obvious and the pain is more severe because of the effort that is going into hiding the fluke. but we're wrong. we forget that God didn't hand us a pen, He handed us a pencil.  when we ask for His forgiveness, He simply goes in and erases the marks. sure, it may be a little smudgy in our eyes and we may be able to see the imprints that it left in the page, but God sees it as gone- He forgets the mistake was ever there. It has been erased and He doesn't hesitate to overlook it.  my dad taught me an eraser trick when i was little. i still vividly remember what he told me.  he said that the easier you are with the eraser, the better the mark will come out no matter how dark it is. i think that's why God is so effective. He makes it clear and realizes that there is a mistake, but He is so gentle when erasing the mark. He is so easy with us and loves on us the whole way through the cleansing process. then there's satan who deceives us and makes us think that he is going to fix the problem but all he does is press the eraser too hard so it engraves it into the paper permanently.  he makes the fluke stand out rather than fade. he makes it impossible to forget and every time you look at the paper, he will never fail to remind you that the stain is there.  thats why i love and worship and celebrate God, my God. He is so gentle and loving and astounding. why praise anyone else?

so that's just a tiny little snippet of what's inside my book...if you want to hear more from it...well good luck. haha. i'm sure there will be more posts from the book in the future but as for now, that's it. nighty night!

Thursday, October 16, 2008


so i'm actually making time to write today. i'm actually quite tired but if i take a nap there's no way i'll get up to go to class in half an hour. so, here i sit. yesterday morning I woke up really really sick. i was having tummy trouble and i ended up almost passing out twice and vomiting 4 times. i was kind of at a loss as to what to do because i had a paper due and my English teacher (who is wonderful) told us this story about a girl who brought a paper to turn in on her way to surgery so that it would be on time so naturally i was worried what would happen if i didn't turn it in just because i was sick. i mean surgery...thats hard to compete with! so i drug myself to class when it was almost over just to go in and see what i missed and hand in my paper. my teacher was more or less shocked to see me, especially considering the condition i was in, and looked at me and said, "girl, go home! get some rest! just e-mail me if you have any questions." she's awesome! just yet another example of how God takes care of me. after that i went to Out-takes" to get some crackers and water to settle my stomach some. Then i pretty much just rested and rested and rested until it was time to meet up with Patty. Patty is one of my small group leaders at Chi Alpha and is my discipleship partner. She's spectacular! Anyway, we meet up on Wednesdays and this time we went to her work, "The Way", which is a christian coffee shop (which is completely delicious by the way). We sat there for like 3 hours or so and just talked and talked and ya know...talked. She gave me an adorable painting she made for me of a verse that we had talked about that i had found a few weeks ago. Its in Galations and the first thing it says is "Live creatively" i LOVE it! well anyway i would love to finish this but general psychology waits for no one! have a blessed day!!!

matthew 6.34


Sunday, October 12, 2008

new beginnings

so i'm giving in and getting a blogspot. i guess i just feel that it's something that i can do in my down time and something to share with people that i have left behind while i am at college. i'm still getting used to the whole thing, but hopefully by the end of the day i will have it set up how i like it and have the whole thing figured out! all for now

romans 12.2