Wednesday, December 31, 2008

Something new in this new year...

I'm tired. It's very early here, but it seems as though my family has been going for hours and hours. I finally convinced myself to flop out of bed at 8:45 and to be honest, I felt like it was entirely too early but I was proud of my grown up early morning self. So here I sit, in the floor of the study room. "Doing what?" you may ask. Well allow me to enlighten you. I am sitting in the floor, macbook in hand, helping my father find a background that he likes for his new blog! That's right ladies and gentlemen, as scary as it is, my father decided to finally bite the bullet and get himself a blog! My only fear is that reading his blog and mine would cause a person to recognize some similarities between the two of us which I have strived to cover up for many many years. However, I believe that I am well prepared to make halfway legitimate excuses for the similarities that will surely ease my mind.  Regardless, I am looking forward to his blog as my dad has some truly fascinating thoughts and opinions. It will be nice to see them in a text format. So today, I give you "Light the Darkness" which can be found at "" There isn't anything on there yet as we are battling the layout situation, but I'm sure it will be excellent once it is up and running. (Which could be a while because apparently he is where I get my ability to sit at the computer for hours upon hours until I locate exactly what I was looking for.) I hope everybody has a splendid day and a wonderful and safe New Year! 

Saturday, December 27, 2008

a family of 3!

Congrats Chris and Melissa on the new addition to your family! Its so exciting! I still haven't gotten to see her in person yet, but the picture was absolutely adorable! Just wanted to post a quick congratulations! Hope everyone has had a very merry Christmas and have a very safe and happy new year!

Sunday, December 21, 2008


so basically, there isn't a point behind this post. if you are looking for substance you may want to look elsewhere. in this post you will not find one of my metaphors, a story, or even an update. what you will receive, should you choose to accept it by further reading, is pure, raw, unadulterated nothingness straight from my mind. nothing in this post really has anything to do with anything else except its what is going on in my mind at this very moment. hats why it won't have substance-because i am thinking too hard. i really don't write well when i try to think about what i am writing. its much better if i just go. don't slow down. yet, sometimes that can be a problem too...going too fast. but i believe i explained all of those frustrations in my post about why i feel that writing is better than blogging. actually the only reason why i even thought to post on here is because i was looking at that ancient, decrepit page that no one really ever thinks about anymore...oh gee, what's it called? oh yeah, myspace. well now, myspace is really more like myteenytinypigeonholethatnobodyevervisitsbecausetheypreferfacebookbutthanksforvisiting.
but it does have a bunch of fascinating things from my past. posts i never even think about anymore, old pictures, that sort of thing. i like revisiting the past. not all of it is nice or friendly...not all of my days have been filled with daisies and puppies and sunshine, but as dark as they were...thats just it...they were. they're not anymore. they're gone. and i have seriously learned a lot from those days. anyways, like i said...not much here to look at. i need to be going. the ridge awaits!!! Christmas Rock Night!!!! i am so extremely excited! hope everyone has a splendid day!!!

Thursday, December 11, 2008

no comparison...

So as much as i love blogging (and trust me, i like it lots) it just doesn't compete with actually sitting down and writing on paper. I think I like it better simply because well...there are a lot of reasons, and when reasons start to stack up...what do we do? Make a list. 

Why I prefer writing on paper to blogging:
1. Things are so easily deleted on the computer and sometimes i find that i delete a really cool thought before i mean to and then its gone...i usually can't remember what it was later, but even if its erased on paper, i can slow down enough to get my thoughts together.
2. My notebook is private. Most of what i write in there i really wouldn't mind sharing, but its knowing that if it does take a very personal turn somewhere along the way, i didn't lose anything. i didn't lose any time and i didn't lose any thoughts. If i start posting a blog, i feel like it should be published, but if it gets too personal, chances are i want to keep it private for a while. I think there's something to be said about personal thoughts. A lot of times, I need to get real with myself before I can get real with the rest of the world, and I don't think that's easy. Maybe its just me, but i doubt it. Sometimes the hardest person to be genuine with is yourself, but if you can't be honest with yourself, how can you ever be honest with other people, or with God? Wow...that was a really long reason...I forgot I was listing...this is one of the things that happens in the book a lot, and when i do it in there, i don't feel dumb like i do now.
3. Let's be honest, chances are, blogspot is a phase. In ten years, I probably won't be able to remember my URL much less my password. However, being the packrat that i am, I feel pretty certain that I can hang on to this book for a while. 
4. Books can be passed down. I hope that one day, somebody will receive my book. It really doesn't matter how they get it, I just hope it's somebody that will find value in it and that will be able to benefit from it. Hopefully, they will pass it down and it will become a habit to pass the book down and will encourage those people to start writing and pass their books down. I just hope that God will somehow deliver it to the hands of a person that will learn something from it...anything.

I think that's it for that I've been thinking about it, I think I want to go write. Funny how that works...I just had an idea for what might end up being yet another spiritual growth metaphor. If i get enough of those, I may start a separate blog for my God thoughts. Anyways thanks for reading these, I know i'm not always the most interesting of humans, but I appreciate your interest. Even if it's out of sheer boredom, you still chose this page, and that means a lot! Goodnight guys!

Monday, December 8, 2008

high stress=high praise

"It's beginning to look a lot like finals, everywhere I go. Take a look at the panic and stress, everyone looks a mess. With late night crams and coffee slams to go..."

That's what I have been singing for the past few days. My own version of getting into the finals spirit. But i'm learning to be of good cheer, not just because it is the holidays, but also because God rewards diligence. I know if i study hard, and put my focus on Him as well, that God will reward that and will bless me for it. I am most nervous about my final on Wednesday. 8:00 am...algebra. To be honest, i'm terrified. Right now I am on that line of a high D or low C, that sounds really pathetic but I'm not afraid to claim my miserable math abilities. I just hope to pass that stupid final. I always do really bad on things in that class (clearly my grades reflect that) but it isn't because i don't care, it has more to do with me being so intimidated by the course. I mean couldn't i just take an english final instead? That would be amazing. But anyway I was just checkin out Jarrett's new blog (which is AWESOME!) so i thought i would update a little. Please be in prayer for my finals that are left. My Psychology one tomorrow at 10:30 and my Algebra one on Wednesday at 8:00! My theater monologue went wonderfully, thanks to all who were in prayer for that! Have a wonderful night, I have to go study study study! Good night!

Monday, December 1, 2008


So there is a major issue that I have been struggling with for a while now. I thought maybe it would just go away or solve itself, but it hasn't and its becoming painfully obvious that it won't vanish on its own. So tonight, I thought I would come out and talk about this very troubling occurence, a crime against humanity, if you will. I'm not sure if there are any solutions to this problem, but please if you come up with any ideas, don't hesitate to inform me of them. I first noticed this problem towards the beginning of the year...I'm not sure of the exact date, but I know it was only a few short weeks into this semester. In all honesty, I don't think that I recognized the seriousness of the problem initially, but now it's evident just how frequently these vile actions occur. It is beginning to bother be to a magnitude which only those who have been tortured themselves could begin to fathom. Why do human beings do this to one another? Where is the justice? Where is the peace? But I have come to realize that there isn't any. No matter, what I do, no matter where I go, I will always be victim to the harsh and judgemental looks of others when I sit in a public place and...write. It's almost as though writing is a completely foreign concept to others. I really do get the most bizarre looks. Just tonight I was at Chic-fil-a, and I broke out my little book and began to write while my friend began to talk to some other people, and you would have thought that I was doing something completely insulting. To inform you of the exact way that I felt in the moment, here is a quote from my darling little book. "I also love the looks I get when I sit down and write in a public place. Its like a nudist just going somewhere and sitting down...only it's a lot more decent and I can't be arrested." So I ask you ladies and gentlemen, how long are we going to sit idly by and let this injustice continue? When will we band together and stand up to the forces that keep pushing us down? Now is our time!!!

haha. yeah so anyways, that's all i got! just a little silliness....i'm a bit hyper after drama! hope everybody has a fantastic evening! Lots of love!!!

---romans 12.2

Saturday, November 29, 2008


I didn't even know that Denira had tagged me for this until just here it goes...

Go into your pictures folders. Choose your fourth pic folder and then insert the fourth picture from that folder. Write four things about the picture, then tag four friends!

1. This is actually the second picture from my 4th folder because that folder only has 2 pictures.
2. This was taken in the airport in Detroit while my group was waiting for our flight to France!!!
3. That was probably one of the prettiest skies that I have ever seen.
4. I thought I took more pictures (better ones) of this without the window pane and the people in it but apparently I didn't.

Now I tag:

1. Kay Sampson
2. Corrie Bridges
3. Travis Meyers
4.  Melissa Hill

yaaaay...that was random. =]

Monday, November 17, 2008

my odes are catching on...

I lovingly call this Ode de la Maddy...

Presence undeniable when she enters a room
When she's disappointed there's a taunting sense of doom
Tresses fierecely red yet peacefully serene
Resembling a mermaid who piereces the ocean green
Her passion never lacking and a constant loving smile
She'll ask for your life story--it will probably take a while
Never failing to provide some sweet encouragement
She is forcing me to go right now so this is how it ends.


So this blog is an affectionate ode to my dear friend Charlene. She is currently sitting beside me waiting for drama to start, thus my current muse. So here it is in all of its glory: Ode to Charlene.

Hannah Montana shirts and jet black chuckie-t's
Debating her hair color as it tossels in the breeze
Audrey Hepburn purse and a new Blackberry phone
I've known her only a few short months, but my how she has grown
From barely peeking out of her room to a Chi Alpha drama star
I'm throughly convinced that no dream could be too far
Thought provoking chats about her pants being to short
I swear this girl makes me laugh so hard it causes me to snort.

That's right ladies and gentlemen. Charlene. The Ode is almost as goofy as she is. Love ya girl!

Wednesday, November 12, 2008


Fall has never been more beautiful. I'm sure this has more to do with my ignorance than the actual scenery. I can honestly say that this fall has taken my breath away and I have been completely astounded by God's amazing creation. A Cookeville autumn is truly a gorgeous one. The trees are the most vibrant shades of red and orange and yellow...there's just nothing like it. In fact, these trees have made me question if summer is truly my favorite season...autumn is definitely giving summer a run for it's money. Makes me wonder how long I have been taking God's magnificence for granted. I'm positive that it's nothing new in my life. I'm sure I've always done it and that I do it on a daily basis without even noticing. I mean that's like going into your house and putting up a ton of gorgeous paintings that you worked extremely hard on. After your family comes in, you expect them to make a comment on at least one of them but nope...nothing. You begin to think...okay well they've had a hard day...maybe they'll say something about them tomorrow. The next day goes by--not a word. Weeks...months...even years. Still, no comments come. Nothing good, nothing bad. Nothing. You at least expect someone to say something. Good. Bad. Bragging. Praise. Disgust. Something. Finally, years later, you get a "oh hey that's cool." And while to us it may be to little to late, it thrills God. How amazing is He? All the praise and glory be to Him...He is beyond deserving of it. That's all for now. Byebye and God bless!


Thursday, October 30, 2008


well I realized that I have failed at updating this, so I decided that before October was officially over, I should write something else. I am really getting sick of eye appointments rushing my fridays. I mean I come home anyways, but I don't like having to make sure I am at the eye doctor at a specific time. college proves to be growing rapidly in both the fun and stress categories. Honestly, I'm just tired. So incredibly tired. I have had so much to do this week, and next week will prove to be just as insane. Something to look forward to. Right now I'm just sitting at Chi waiting for free form worship to start. I'm talking to an AMAZING girl...her name is kristen. She's a warfie too and she's also in my small group...this is her saying hey...hi. That's right, from the hands of Kristen Surles herself, ladies and gentlemen. She actually followed that charming "h-i" with "what do you want me to say??? I don't do this stuff." she's awesome. Maddy just banged on the window...she tried to scare me but it didn't work. I'm fearless haha. not. so anyway, not much is going on til patty gets here. then it's time to paint!!! yaaay! God has still made himself everpresent this week which i am extremely appreciative of ...well anyway Patty just got here so i'm gonna get off of here! i hope everyone has a blessed week!

Monday, October 20, 2008


i feel so swamped lately. it's like in my mind i don't really have anything going on, then come to find out i have a million things to do everyday. i really don't know how that happens, or i think i have a clear schedule...i never do. i really like being busy though. i mean don't get me wrong, i love my down time, but too much down time makes me feel lazy. maybe that's why i do so much. but i love everything that i do. i think that's important. if you are going to do something, make sure that you are passionate about it. pour your heart and soul into the things you do and if you aren't passionate about it then leave it behind unless it is something that God commands you to do. this post really is rambling. i find i do that a lot, hence the name of the blog. my phone is almost as spastic as i am. one minute it has 2 bars of battery, then it's blinking at me saying "low battery" "low battery" every 3 seconds. i don't get it; it's aggravating. but anyway, i really don't have a whole lot to say. i'm just sitting at XA before drama practice starts. super fun! but that's pretty much it, i just figured i would update. there really isn't any substance to this at all, but that's ok...sometimes it's good to not be super philosophical. anyway thats it for now! hope everybody is having a super blessed day!!!

romans 12.2

Saturday, October 18, 2008


i have a book i write in a lot...kind of like a journal but to me its more than that. i doodle, sketch, freewrite, take notes, jot down reminders-everything- in this little book. anyway this is what i wrote today...just a thought. i read it to dad and he said i should post it on my blog. so this is just one of the many thoughts from my notebook entitled "the ramblings of a college student: the thoughts, doodles, tangents, excitement and fear of an eighteen year old freshman." (hence the name of the blog)


why is it that we forget the pencil as we get older? it's such a great little invention, but somehow we get swept up in the world of pens. we have this stigma about pencils because they can be eliminated. erased. for some reason, we feel the need for everything to be permanent and so we turn to ink. we feel like ink is final. even if you mark through it, it is still there and it's obvious that a mistake is being hidden. in my eyes, the world is a realm of ink.  we feel like everything we do, every choice we make is permanent. and to an extent, it is. we can't go back in time or click on edit and scroll down to "undo" but fortunately, it's because none of that is necessary. my God is not a God of ink. He is a pencil user. that's right...God uses pencils. at least i think so. He uses pencil when it comes to us. of course some things are in ink- His word, His plans and His purpose for us- but He hands us a pencil to use in our life journey.  we can scribble all over His plans and doodle on His purpose.  we sketch out our own blueprints and shade our lives with sin and for some reason, we think we're using pen. in our minds, everything that we have sketched or doodled or scribbled or shaded is permanent. and when we finally realize that we have made a mistake, we try to cover it up and hide it by making heavier marks on top of it. but all that does is make the mistake darker both literally and metaphorically. that mark is now more obvious and the pain is more severe because of the effort that is going into hiding the fluke. but we're wrong. we forget that God didn't hand us a pen, He handed us a pencil.  when we ask for His forgiveness, He simply goes in and erases the marks. sure, it may be a little smudgy in our eyes and we may be able to see the imprints that it left in the page, but God sees it as gone- He forgets the mistake was ever there. It has been erased and He doesn't hesitate to overlook it.  my dad taught me an eraser trick when i was little. i still vividly remember what he told me.  he said that the easier you are with the eraser, the better the mark will come out no matter how dark it is. i think that's why God is so effective. He makes it clear and realizes that there is a mistake, but He is so gentle when erasing the mark. He is so easy with us and loves on us the whole way through the cleansing process. then there's satan who deceives us and makes us think that he is going to fix the problem but all he does is press the eraser too hard so it engraves it into the paper permanently.  he makes the fluke stand out rather than fade. he makes it impossible to forget and every time you look at the paper, he will never fail to remind you that the stain is there.  thats why i love and worship and celebrate God, my God. He is so gentle and loving and astounding. why praise anyone else?

so that's just a tiny little snippet of what's inside my book...if you want to hear more from it...well good luck. haha. i'm sure there will be more posts from the book in the future but as for now, that's it. nighty night!

Thursday, October 16, 2008


so i'm actually making time to write today. i'm actually quite tired but if i take a nap there's no way i'll get up to go to class in half an hour. so, here i sit. yesterday morning I woke up really really sick. i was having tummy trouble and i ended up almost passing out twice and vomiting 4 times. i was kind of at a loss as to what to do because i had a paper due and my English teacher (who is wonderful) told us this story about a girl who brought a paper to turn in on her way to surgery so that it would be on time so naturally i was worried what would happen if i didn't turn it in just because i was sick. i mean surgery...thats hard to compete with! so i drug myself to class when it was almost over just to go in and see what i missed and hand in my paper. my teacher was more or less shocked to see me, especially considering the condition i was in, and looked at me and said, "girl, go home! get some rest! just e-mail me if you have any questions." she's awesome! just yet another example of how God takes care of me. after that i went to Out-takes" to get some crackers and water to settle my stomach some. Then i pretty much just rested and rested and rested until it was time to meet up with Patty. Patty is one of my small group leaders at Chi Alpha and is my discipleship partner. She's spectacular! Anyway, we meet up on Wednesdays and this time we went to her work, "The Way", which is a christian coffee shop (which is completely delicious by the way). We sat there for like 3 hours or so and just talked and talked and ya know...talked. She gave me an adorable painting she made for me of a verse that we had talked about that i had found a few weeks ago. Its in Galations and the first thing it says is "Live creatively" i LOVE it! well anyway i would love to finish this but general psychology waits for no one! have a blessed day!!!

matthew 6.34


Sunday, October 12, 2008

new beginnings

so i'm giving in and getting a blogspot. i guess i just feel that it's something that i can do in my down time and something to share with people that i have left behind while i am at college. i'm still getting used to the whole thing, but hopefully by the end of the day i will have it set up how i like it and have the whole thing figured out! all for now

romans 12.2